Of the things that stress people out on a daily basis, criticism is atop the list. Whether it comes from customers, peers or their managers, hearing your work criticized can be hurtful if you allow it to be.
Avoid personalizing criticism
Some salespeople take criticism personally. Becoming defensive or argumentative is a natural reaction to criticism. You will grow and learn if you can adjust your attitude. Understand your own self-confidence, think about the big picture and inspect the message of the criticism. Be open to criticism that will help you and avoid emotional outbursts.
Receiving criticism
Receiving criticism doesn’t have to be stressful. As a receiver, you’re in control. Try not to focus on how the giver delivers the criticism. Focus instead on what the giver is saying. Instead of listening while your mind works on how you can refute the criticism or argue against it, listen fully in order to understand. Keep an open mind and view the criticism as helpful or, at least, intended to be helpful.
Not always negative
Criticism is not always negative. Sometimes you can use it to help bring your performance to a higher level. Try to view criticism as information, not judgment. Focus on what people say, not on how they say it. Then examine the criticism and determine how to proceed.
Mistakes to avoid
Here are four mistakes to avoid when accepting criticism:
- Rejecting information. Argumentative receivers take criticism personally instead of regarding it as simple information.
- Reacting before thinking. “Quick responders” react first and think later — or leap to conclusions. How you react to criticism matters. Receivers, not givers, hold the control.
- Denying mistakes. Some receivers either can’t admit their mistakes or they blame others. To build trust and respect, it’s a good idea to own your mistakes. People will forget your mistakes but they won’t forget how you handled them when they were called to your attention.
- Becoming a victim. Some givers aren’t specific enough or they change their mind about what they want. This frustrates receivers and makes them feel victimized. As a receiver, try to find a way to work with vague givers.
When giving criticism
Some salespeople are reluctant to give criticism. They may lack confidence, avoid conflict or try to keep others happy. This can be disastrous, especially when customers deliver legitimate complaints that should be resolved. Ignoring a problem and hoping it will disappear doesn’t work.
Preparation helps you build confidence and feel more comfortable offering feedback. Determine the purpose of the criticism you plan to deliver. Practice what you say before you say it. If the receiver can’t do anything about the matter you’re criticizing, don’t deliver it. Use specific examples to demonstrate what you want.
The right atmosphere
People have different preferences for how they wish to receive criticism. Some people like a direct approach, while others have to be treated more gently. Criticism that comes at unexpected times or from unexpected places is stressful. Try to avoid these errors when giving criticism:
- “Quick draw.” These givers don’t consider the consequences of criticism and call it as they see it.
- “More about me.” These givers have bad timing or deliver criticism according to their own preferences instead of the receiver’s preference.
- “Hey you.” These givers make their criticisms personal, not impartial. When givers personalize criticism, their receivers hear blame and feel a lack of support.
- “Guessing game.” These givers either express their issues vaguely or don’t provide clear instructions. They can be so polite they don’t outline anything specific to fix.
- “Who cares?” Some givers rush their delivery or they lack empathy. Givers in a hurry should wait until the moment is right.
- “The sky is falling.” Not every matter is urgent, but this giver treats everything as equally important. Eventually, employees ignore these doomsayers and they lose credibility.
Adapted from: The Truth Doesn’t Have to Hurt by Deb Bright, the founder and president of Bright Enterprises, a consulting firm focused on performance enhancement.
